My Time on The Roads

Sorry I have not checked in with you for a while. I had a change in mission a while back and I have completed quite a few convoy patrols now. It is quite a different world out there. I expected to be shot at and blown up a lot more than I actually have been. Dont get me wrong, I am quite relieved at the lack of attention I have drawn from insurgents and the like. But it sounds so harrowing to listen to the adventures of other people in the local DFAC.

I, however, have spent at least a few hours in the back seat - asleep. I drive when I can, but mostly I just get a numb ass from sitting around in the back seat and handing sodas to everyone. I am essentially a combat stewardess. I'm not even graced with a real headset like the rest of the people in my truck. I have a handmike wedged in my kevlar helmet. Most people are glad to hear that the medic is only getting a sore ass. Within the last few runs I have got some treatment time, but I cannot report much on that. I can only say that: while our personnel have been EXTREMELY lucky... Our vehicles have not.

I was asked today if I will qualify for the combat medic badge after recent events. All I could say is that I would be a big ass dirtbag if I tried to get a badge for splinting some fingers together. People around here are really putting a lot of emphasis on badges and medals. (I realize I am rambling, but I figure you deserve something from me this month.) My team of medics have done more trama treatment that will not be recognized with any badge, medal, or coin. Yet, someone with a broken fringer might get a purple heart. I ask you does it really make much sense?

Also, I have heard that our brigade has turned back the combat medic badge requests of several medics who have treated people after IED blasts. The reason: they were not under fire during treatment. I understand that a navy corpsman running around with marines under fire might disagree with me about the worth of a badge earned for an IED blast. But I'd like to state that the regulations were revised (back in February of 2000) in a time when IEDs were unheard of. And I think that the medics who have treated people after an IED blast are facing a fare amount of danger in trying to do their job.

I should really stick to writing these posts out in advance. I just rambled on for a bit there. I'm gonna leave you with this list of things I've done on my runs.

I've eaten 25 turkey sandwiches.
I've (intentionaly) urinated (on the road and not in my pants) in a "hot zone" 3 times.
I've handed over 100 cans of soda and over 50 bottles of water out to the people in my truck.
I've treated twice.
I've handed out three band-aids.
I've handed out at least 25 Ibuprofen800's.
I've seen two false IED's up close... possibly TOO close for my liking.
I've prayed to god that the insurgents do not RPG/blow up a septic water truck in front of us (just once).
I've said, "whoa shit" about ten times while sitting in back... at least 4x that when driving.
I've seen an "enemy submarine" in the immediate area on the tracking system once... along with an enemy aircraft and a battleship.
I've been scolded by my crew for "intentionally missing a target of opportunity" (aka hitting wild dogs that run out in front of us with our HMMWV) twice.