Rally Moustache
Let me tell you a little about myself. I have never been able to grow a very good amount of facial hair. I have patches of hair that grow in uneven volumes. (I'm 28 and) I always figured that by my mid twenties I'd have the ability to grow a moustache that was somewhat respectable. So I tried to grow one as we were nearing the end of our deployment and I'd give it a good measure of time to mature from it's pupa-stage to a beautiful moustache. I took a picture of the "Rally 'stache", as Troy Fields (at http://www.medicevolved.net/) had termed it, and I e-mailed it to the home front.
The responses were less than encouraging.
"I'm telling you this because you are my friend and I care about you:
You look like a child molester with that stash." -Tim
"wow....i'm speechless......it's......it's.......wow......" -Jake
and
"I have no words to express how awful that looks. Can't you do something about that?
You're my husband so I have to I love you, but there was not mention of moustaches anywhere in the marriage contract." -The Wife
I did get one positive comment.
"You my friend.. have become so army it is silly... somehow though...
.... it suits you? You are now Mr. MUSTA moustacheoooooooooooooooooooooooooH!" -Cordell
which was followed a week later by:
"actually i didn't like the must all that much either.. i
just thought it was an army thing."
This was to be expected. What I was not ready for was the response from Delobi (at Delobi's Blog Machine City ):
"Dude...what the F#$%.
What is it with Army people going to Iraq that makes them grow
butt-ugly porn mustaches? Is it something in the sand? Something in the bottled
water?
Seriously.
LOL...maybe this is your secret ploy to make your wife miss you less?
She'll be saying, 'thank god he's not around ME with that nasty-ass
face
hair!' "
I was not ready for this harsh indictment of The Rally 'Stache. But moreover it caused me to ponder for half-a-minute about why I'm only one individual in a group of people who have spawned moustaches over here. Then it hit me.
In the civilian world there would be no way for me to grow that 'Stache and show up to work. I would be ridiculed by my co-workers and I'd be told that my appearance was unsatisfactory. Patients in the back of my civilian ambulance would not share their medical history with someone who looks like they belong in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". In The Army, you are allowed to grow these little babies as long as the 'Stache stays within the borders of you upper-lip. And since there are several people trying to accomplish a Rally 'Stache or even just a plain moustache, your silly-pre-pubescent look is tolerated.
I grew my Rally 'Stache in great anticipation of our trip home. I grew it out for 6 weeks when I found out that we were getting extended... then, like Troy Fields, I shaved it off.
Rest in Peace moustache.
The responses were less than encouraging.
"I'm telling you this because you are my friend and I care about you:
You look like a child molester with that stash." -Tim
"wow....i'm speechless......it's......it's.......wow......" -Jake
and
"I have no words to express how awful that looks. Can't you do something about that?
You're my husband so I have to I love you, but there was not mention of moustaches anywhere in the marriage contract." -The Wife
I did get one positive comment.
"You my friend.. have become so army it is silly... somehow though...
.... it suits you? You are now Mr. MUSTA moustacheoooooooooooooooooooooooooH!" -Cordell
which was followed a week later by:
"actually i didn't like the must all that much either.. i
just thought it was an army thing."
This was to be expected. What I was not ready for was the response from Delobi (at Delobi's Blog Machine City ):
"Dude...what the F#$%.
What is it with Army people going to Iraq that makes them grow
butt-ugly porn mustaches? Is it something in the sand? Something in the bottled
water?
Seriously.
LOL...maybe this is your secret ploy to make your wife miss you less?
She'll be saying, 'thank god he's not around ME with that nasty-ass
face
hair!' "
I was not ready for this harsh indictment of The Rally 'Stache. But moreover it caused me to ponder for half-a-minute about why I'm only one individual in a group of people who have spawned moustaches over here. Then it hit me.
In the civilian world there would be no way for me to grow that 'Stache and show up to work. I would be ridiculed by my co-workers and I'd be told that my appearance was unsatisfactory. Patients in the back of my civilian ambulance would not share their medical history with someone who looks like they belong in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". In The Army, you are allowed to grow these little babies as long as the 'Stache stays within the borders of you upper-lip. And since there are several people trying to accomplish a Rally 'Stache or even just a plain moustache, your silly-pre-pubescent look is tolerated.
I grew my Rally 'Stache in great anticipation of our trip home. I grew it out for 6 weeks when I found out that we were getting extended... then, like Troy Fields, I shaved it off.
Rest in Peace moustache.
posted by SGT Dock at 21:18
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